


kind of more

by livvie00



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Making Out, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livvie00/pseuds/livvie00
Summary: 'I think we're better off as friends' Jaehyun hates these words, not from him, but because he is so afraid of hearing them from someone else. Someone he does like more than that.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	kind of more

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :D
> 
> this is long overdue because Ive been promising my friend this fic for several months now.  
> Mary babe this is for you. love ya <3
> 
> I wrote this on one day and it's not beta read, so please excuse any mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy and please tell me what you think of it, i'm so thankful for any kind of critic or comment!

Jaehyun looks in the mirror and smiles.

Today is his 4th date with Eunwoo and he's really looking forward to it, the other always seems to take his mind off of everything.

He hears his phone ding from where it lies on his bed, going over to grab he sees that it's a message from Yuta.

And no matter how much he doesn't want it to, his smile falls. 

He forces it back on when he sees the last messages he exchanged with Eunwoo, setting the time for today's date.

One last look in the mirror and he's ready to go, waking out of his room.

Johnny and Taeyong are sitting in the living room, watching some random drama and cuddling. He passes them to get to the front door when Johnny calls out.

“Have fun on your date, Jae.”

Jaehyun beams back at him. “Thanks John I will, and have fun a fun evening too.” He looks over to Taeyong whines still very much invested in his drama.

Jaehyun sees the way Johnny’s arm tightens around Taeyong and the other just follows the movement and leans in further. Jaehyun feels envy. He wants that too.

“With Yuta.” His brain helpfully supplies. He shuts it up.

Giving one last wave to his friends on the couch and then he's out of the door, making his way down the stairs with a spring in his step. 

Completely ignoring his tiny and unnecessary crush on his older best friend, he also very much likes Eunwoo. 

Eunwoo is kind and handsome and they have the same interests and he really enjoys spending time talking with him, as much as he enjoys kissing him. 

The last few dates just went really well and he's been really happy and he feels like this could be it. Finally getting over Yuta with a boy he genuinely likes.

Jaehyun is so deep in his thoughts he almost misses his bus stop but gets off last second at the right one. He's walking over the short distance from the bus stop to the cafe where Eunwoo is already waiting for him at their favorite table. 

“Hi.” Jaehyun greets him with a big smile and Eunwoo stand up to hug him, mumbling a small greeting back.

“How was your week? Have you already ordered?” 

Eunwoo sits back down and Jaehyun follows him.

“Ah my week was good, a bit stressful. Had a lot to do with exams coming up.”

Jaehyun sees that the other’s smile doesn't really reaches his eyes, but maybe he's really just tired from university. It's not like Jaehyun couldn't relate to that.

“So do you-”

“Jae I-”

They both start at the same time. 

Jaehyun giggles. “Please, you first.”

“Thank you.” 

Oh Jaehyun really could see the exact moment the others face changed and he probably already knew what was coming but he would have seen in coming.

Eunwoo opens his mouth and Jaehyun feels his own smiles fall.

“Jae, I really wanna be honest with you and not drag this on any longer than needed so I have to tell you-”

“That you don't like me.” Jaehyun interupts.

He sees Eunwoo’s face contort into almost a painful expression.

“God no, you're amazing.” 

Wow that hurt even more he thinks.

“It's just more like I don't think we fit together. At least not in that kinda way.”

Jaehyun thinks it's a joke, because he thinks the complete opposite.

“I loved going out with you and you're really funny and great company so I'd love for us to be friends. It's just,,, nothing more than that.”

Ah, Jaehyun get’s it. And weirdly he already doesn't even feel that bad about it.

“Oh.”

Is the only thing he dumbly says to that.

“I'm sorry.” Eunwoo continues.

Jaehyun plasters on a smile.

“Oh no, don't be. I really appreciate you being honest.”

He feels weird inside.

“I guess you're right?! But I guess I also hoped for it not to be that way?! So I-”

Jaehyun feels like he's not hurt because it's Eunwoo specifically who said these words but that he didn't want to hear these kind of words. 'better off as friends’ yeah no he hates these words. 

“So-” Eunwoo sounds really unsure speaking up again. “Friends?”

Jaehyun looks up. “Yeah sure.”

He stands up suddenly almost startling himself.

“I think i should go now.”

Eunwoo promptly stands up as well.

“Yeah sure, I'm sorry again.”

His smile is painful and Jaehyun can't bring himself to leave without hugging the other to show him that he's fine. He doesn't know if he is.

“Bye.”

  
  
  
  
  


The bus leaves right before his eyes so Jaehyun decides to take the 30 minute walk home. He needs some air anyway.

This was not how he planned all of this to go.

Of course he's a bit hurt because he did like Eunwoo a lot, he was hoping for more and he really did not expect this kind of date. But it's not like he was madly in love with the other boy, He hadn't even known him long enough for this. So he's just really confused.

His phone rings once again in his pocket. He takes it out and accidentally clicks on the message, opening his chat with Yuta.

“Fuck.” He curses under his breath. Now the message will be seen as read and he really doesn't want to answer right now.

He decided to not give a damn and pockets his phone again, continuing to go down the street.

  
  
  
  


When he arrives home Johnny and Taeyong are still in the same position they were in when he left. 

Figures, he wasn't gone for much more than an hour.

“You're home early.” Johnny comments when he sees the younger take off his shoes in the hallway.

“Eunwoo broke up with me.”

He stops in his step.

“I can't even say that we weren't even together.”

Johnny stops the drama and both him and Taeyong turn to look at the youngest.

“Are you okay?” Taeyong wants to stand up probably to hug his friend but Jaehyun just quickly puts up his hand and motions for him to sit back down.

“No no sit down. I’m fine,, I guess. Just need a moment so i'll be in my room and you continue watching your drama okay?!”

He puts on the probably fakest smile the world has ever seen and closes the door behind himself. Laying down on his bed he wants nothing more than to fall asleep and think about nothing. But his brain of course won't let him rest.

Why was he so hurt by what Eunwoo said? It's not what the words that the other said mean, that they won't be together. But it's the words that he is so so afraid of hearing,, just from a different person.

He won't ever hear them from this person because he would never confess but now it feels more real than anything and that's what's hurting him.

Jaehyun kicks of his jeans and slips into his favorite shorts to nestle himself into his sheets. He decides it's time to start moping around in his bed.

He doesn't get very far with that because after only half an hour he hears his bedroom door open and before he can even turn around to see who it is, a body flops down on top of him.

Letting out a big groan he tries to turn onto his back to see who has the audacity to interrupt him being sad. 

When he finally manages to get into a somewhat comfortable position with a whole human being on top of him he opens his eyes and all he can see is a lot of long and blond hair and Yutas face right in front of his.

He's smiling really really bright and Jaehyun wants to cry. On one side Yuta’s smile makes him want to smile as well but then he is reminded of the conversation with Eunwoo and how he doesn't want to ever hear these words again and he wants to cry.

Yuta seems to see the inner conflict on his face because the older sits up with his back to the wall and pulls Jaehyun by the arm until he sits next to him.

“I was wondering what was up with you, opening my text message but not answering until Johnny told me what happened.”

“Sorry for not answering.” Jaehyun mumbles. He really feels bad now for worrying his friend.

Yuta lays his head down on Jaehyun’s shoulder and softly pokes his side. “It's fine, I'm just glad you're okay. Are you okay?”

He looks up to younger from his place on Jaehyun’s shoulder. 

Jaehyun shrugs.

“I guess. Of course i'm not happy about it but it's not like I loved him.”

“Hmm.” The older hums and they sit in silence for a few minutes.

Suddenly Yuta springs up. “Hey! How about you and me and Johnny boy and Taeyong get drunk tonight. We need to get your mind off of this.”

Something inside of Jaehyun screams at him that this is not a good idea but then he looks at Yuta and his blinding smile and his heart goes haywire and all he can do is smile back and nod.

  
  
  
  


Jaehyun hates drinking. He hasn't gotten drunk in a long time and now taking the first sip of his vodka mix he knows exactly why. It's disgusting, it's burning down his throat and he really want to spit it out again. But he also wants to get drunk tonight because he doesn't want to think. He just wants to have fun with his friends and Yuta seems really set on having a lot of fun.

The older is already downing his 3rd shot while also having a beer right in front of him. He almost looks like he has to celebrate something.

“You're in an awful good mood, Yuta.”

So Johnny also did pick up on their friends behavior.

“Why not.” Yuta grins pouring everyone another round of shots. “I'm with my friends, having a good time why should i not be happy?” 

Jaehyun supposes he is right so he takes the shot and pours it down his throat, still wincing at the burning sensation the alcohol leaves behind. 

But Yuta has a point, he's with his friends so he might as well have a good time.

  
  
  
  


That good time escalated. 

Because right now Johnny is carrying a knocked out Taeyong down to their bedroom down the hall and Jaehyun envies him because he also never wants to move again. 

It's 2am and he's drunk.

Yuta is not even a bit better. They spend the last hour playing singstar on Johnny’s old ps2 and now Yuta is lying on the floor in front of the tv still holding the microphone in his hand even though Johnny turned of the tv before picking Taeyong up from the couch. 

“Yuts.”

“Hm.”

“Yuta!”

Jaehyun calls out from the couch. Finally he sees Yuta lifting his head.

“Do you think Johnny will come out here again tonight?”

The older seems to contemplate it for a second before answering.

“Don't think so, he looked pretty done himself. He will probably fall asleep right next to Yongie.”

“Hm.”

There's a weird a silence settling over the room and Jaehyun wants to break it but his brain is not really working right now and he has no idea what he should say. He's just about to say he wants to go to bed when he sees Yuta actually standing up from the floor (he has no idea where the other takes the energy from to do this) and sliding over to the couch just to flop down right next to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun feels very warm. He already felt warm from the alcohol but Yuta’s body next to him also radiates a lot of heat and now it's almost getting uncomfortable.

“I want what they have.” He mumbles out after another moments of silence.

“I'm sorry it didn't work out with Eunwoo.”

If Jaehyun really thinks about it Yuta doesn't really sound apologetic.

“It's fine, the more I think about it the more i realize he's right. I liked him yes and I also kind of liked kissing him but that wasn't because it's him. So i'm not that hurt about it.” 

He breathes out all the air in lungs.

“I will miss kissing someone though.”

Yuta grumbles.

“Oh believe me I also miss it.”

There's silence,,,  _ again _ .

And then Jaehyun is being incredibly dumb and he's leaning over and he's kissing his best friend. 

(Who he has a crush on)

It's nothing more than pressing his lips to Yuta’s mouth but it happened and now he can't take it back.

And because it already happened apparently his brain decides to fuck it and he leans back in just to do it again. The difference is that this time Yuta reacts.

The thing that baffles Jaehyun is the fact that his reaction is positive. Very positive to be honest because the older grabs him by the neck to pull him closes and starts moving his lip against Jaehyun’s which haven't done anything until now. 

Yuta lets himself fall backwards until he lying flat on the couch and pulls Jaehyun on top of him.

Somewhere in the back of his brain a voice screams “You're kissing your best friend crush!” at Jaehyun but he ignores it. Because kissing ‘his best friend crush’ feels exceptionally good and he would like to focus on that. So he keeps moving his lips against Yuta's until he feels the others tongue swiping across his own lower lips.

Resting his weight on his arms next to Yuta's head he allows himself to open up for the man underneath him. 

Yuta tastes like vodka and that fruity stuff Taeyong brought and even if Jaehyun still finds vodka very much disgusting he can't get enough of tasting Yuta's mouth because he also tastes like Yuta.

Holding his whole body up like this gets very tiring after some time so Jaehyun shifts his weight back while circling his arms underneath Yuta's waist. 

He doesn't know where he gets the energy from but he manages to sit up properly and haul Yuta up with him until now the older sits on  _ his  _ lap. 

The actions seems to surprise Yuta because he stops for a second and looks at Jaehyun with wide eyes. 

Looking at him now Jaehyun knows, they're both not drunk anymore. Tipsy sure, even a make out session with you best friend can't magically get all the alcoholics out of your system. But it did sober him up enough to know what he is doing.

Apparently that doesn't seem to stop Yuta because this time it's him that leans in and slots their lips back together. And who is Jaehyun to stop him.

The languid movements of their lips together go over into Yuta's whole body, he seems impatient to Jaehyun so the younger takes his hands and travels them down the others sides until he reaches the hem of Yuta's shirt and easily slides his hands underneath. He knows his hands are always warm and Yuta seems to feel that too because he lets out a content hum into Jaehyun’s mouth.

When Jaehyun lets his hands slide up further his fingertips come across something small and cold. He grins feeling the piercing between his fingers.

“So you really did it, hm?!”

Yuta's lips leave his mouth and the older starts leaving little kisses on his jaw occasionally slightly nipping on the youngers lips.

“Do you like it.”

His voice is soft and deep in Jaehyun’s ears and it turns him on even more. So he grips Yuta's shirt and takes it off. Now he able to really see the little gem pierced into Yuta's belly button. Jaehyun tips his head to the side to give Yuta more space to kiss and answered with a deep breath.

“I love it. It suits you so well.”

  
  


After a while Jaehyun decides that Yuta has really given him a lot and he should give something back, so he slides his hands down over Yuta's piercing, bracing the waistband of his pants. He feels Yuta jump a little at the sudden contact and he’s very happy about it and smiles when Yuta let's out a sharp breath, his head falling back. And if that isn't an invitation for Jaehyun.

He kisses along the others neck and exposed collarbone, feeling him up. All his senses are filled with Yuta and only Yuta. He can feel his weight on his legs, his pulse beneath his lips and his warm skin beneath his hands. It feels amazing. 

Jaehyun gets so lost in the feeling he almost forgets what the hell is actually going on.

The moment it comes back to him he panics.

He is drunk, he is kissing his best friends neck, his best friend who he still has crush on, the same person he is currently giving a handjob. 

His eyes snap open and he slowly peels his hands and lips away from the olders body.

“Hey Jae is everything okay?”

He's confused, rightfully so because on second Jaehyun’s hand was on his dick and he was having a really good time and now the other is leaning so far back into the couch as if he wants to escape. 

Jaehyun decides to play the drunk card, hoping and praying it will give him an excuse not to talk about this the next morning. He's just not ready for that.

“Yeah I'm fine, just really fucking drunk. What time is it, we should really go to bed.”

Shaking his head Yuta slowly gets up and Jaehyun takes the chance to stand up on wobbly legs and slip from the couch into his room.

Slowly closing the door he immediately falls down on his bed and as much as he wants to have a total breakdown and crisis right now because  _ that _ just happened he still is very much drunk and exhausted so after the adrenaline from kissing his best friend crush leaves his body he immediately falls asleep.

  
  
  
  
  


Jaehyun wakes up with a pounding head and a hurting heart. He remembers what happened last night, he really wishes he didn't. Because as much as he would like to believe otherwise he knows that all of this only happened because they were drunk. 

Yuta does not like him back and if the other also remembers what happened, Jaehyun will have to sit through another person telling him 'that they're better of as friends’. 

He hates this.

When he comes out of his room the living room is empty which means that everyone has to be in the kitchen. He tiptoes his way into the kitchen and quietly sits down on an empty chair. Yuta is not there.

Taeyong is the first to notice him but seems to feel his bad mood so he only softly pats his head and puts a toast on his plate. 

Johnny slides over the package of pain killers and Jaehyun gratefully accepts them. The other two don't seem to be doing much better in case of having a headache from last night. 

He's about to ask Johnny for the jam when suddenly Yuta appears in the kitchen.

Jaehyun stares at him and doesn't know what to do. So he only smiles very weird and lets out a silent ‘good morning hyung’.

After that Yuta sits down and they eat in silence. He knows that Taeyong and Johnny know that something is up but neither dare to speak up about it or ask. He's grateful for that. 

Breakfast ends without another word spoken and soon Yuta stands up, claiming he has to go home to finish an essay that is due tomorrow. So he takes his things and is out of the door after saying goodbye to his friends.

Jaehyun feels empty. 

  
  
  


It takes 3 days until Johnny corners Jaehyun and tells him to do something.

“I don't know what happened between you two and it's okay if you don't tell me but please talk to Yuta. He beats himself up over this as much as you do and i can't watch it any longer.” 

Jaehyun tells him that he'll try talk to his friend (are they even still friends) today after class.

He didn't expect it but Jaehyun actually keeps his promise and texts Yuta, asking if he wants to come over for dinner.

So Jaehyun begins to plan and his head is making up all of these scenarios, one weirder than the other.

Rationally he knows that Yuta won't forever abandon him or that he would hate him for liking him but his mind is playing tricks on him. He's just nervous.

And when Yuta finally knocks on the door and goes to open it he forgets everything he wanted to say to the older.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

It sound painfully weird.

Jaehyun opens the door completely and takes a step back to let Yuta in.

“I didn't order anything yet because i didn't know what you'd want.”

“How about Sushi? I hadn't had that in a long time.”

“Sure.”

Silence.

Jaehyun mentally hits himself and then tries to gather everything he has to get through this. He hopes it won't hurt to bad.

“Do you remember what happened on saturday?”

Yuta nods and almost looks like he's wary as well.

“Then I guess I have to say, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.”

“Oh.”

Yuta look  _ sad _ .

“I'm really sorry i just did that. I understand that you probably don't think about it the same way I do so you should reject me now because I hope we can-”

“Reject you?” Yuta interrupts.

“Yes?” Jaehyun is really fucking confused.

“Why the hell do you think i kissed you back?”

“Because you were drunk as well?”

“No you Idiot. I kissed you back because I like you. More than just friends.”

Jaehyun's brain shortcuts. That was not in the possible scenarios his brain came up with. What does he say now?

Apparently Yuta does know what to say.

“I just thought you didn't like me back because the next morning you acted like i didn't existed. Like kissing me was the worst thing you ever did and that you regret it.”

Now Jaehyun knows what to say and he could hit himself for reacting so dumb. 

“No! God no kissing you was the best thing ever. Seriously I was so turned on you don't even understand.” 

Seeing Yuta's face go red he realizes what he said and feels himself start to blush.

“But apart from that.” he lets out a deep breath, “I also really liked kissing you because I really like you. More than friends. Have been liking you more than this for a long time actually.”

Yuta starts laughing. Really loud. But Jaehyun knows he's not laughing about him but because of this whole situation.

“Me too.” Yuta finally says. “I've also liked you for some time now, but you kept on going to all of these dates, I thought i'd never have a chance with you.”

“I did that to keep my mind off of you.”

He smiles and softly takes Yuta's hand into his own.

He stops. “Wait, is that why you where in such a good mood that evening? Because my date with Eunwoo didn't go well?”

At least Yuta has the audacity to look a bit ashamed.

“I felt bad for it but yes. When Johnny told me about what happened I couldn't help but think that I might have another chance now. And that made me happy.”

“You're shameless. But that's one thing I love about you.”

“Oh so we're using the big L word now?”

“Sure why not.”

And finally, finally Jaehyun leans down (completely sober and so so happy) and kisses his best friend crush that also likes him back.

Yuta pulls him in between his legs and kisses back with so much love, Jaehyun goes brainless.

The languid kiss turns into soft little pecks until they're both just giggling into each other's mouth.

“I can't believe it took us this long.”

“Doesn't matter.” Jaehyun cannot keep the smile off his face. “I have you now I will not let you go.”

“Right back at you.”

He kisses Yuta again.


End file.
